If you've been considering filing for divorce but aren't sure if you're ready to make the leap, it's important that you take some time to think things through. Filing for divorce without being certain that it's the right thing can leave you struggling through the emotional transition of this major life change. Even when divorce is the right decision, you'll face a wide spectrum of emotions along the way, and you're going to need to be secure in your decision in order to work through it effectively. Here are a few things to ask yourself in those early stages when you're considering divorce.
How Can You Be Sure It's The Right Choice?
You may be wondering how you can be sure that divorce is the right choice in your situation. After all, filing for divorce is going to affect you, your spouse, your kids and even your family and friends. For something this significant, doubts are only natural.
Ensuring that it's the right decision starts with ensuring that you are making a logical decision, not an emotional one. Even in amicable divorces, there can be struggles in the settlement process. After all, dividing your possessions and your financial assets can be tough, and if your decision to leave is an emotional one, all of your considerations during the settlement are likely to be tainted by those emotions.
Do a thorough evaluation of your relationship before deciding to divorce. If you've considered all of the factors contributing to the situation and you're certain that the relationship cannot be salvaged or you're just not interested in trying to recover things, that's a logical determination that it's time to walk away.
- Is It Just Not Working Anymore? While you're evaluating your relationship, think about what's brought you to this point. Is it just that your marriage isn't working anymore? Are you and your spouse headed in two different directions or working toward different life goals? Try not to put the blame on one or the other of you unless one party has blatantly done something to directly cause the situation. Putting blame on your partner solely in an attempt to avoid dealing with the reality of the breakup will only cause you to develop hostility toward him or her and then struggle to deal with the logistics of the process.
Are You Ready to Make the Changes That Will Be Required?
Once you've come to the decision that you're ready for the divorce and your marriage cannot be saved, you need to make sure you are ready to make the changes that the process will require. After all, as soon as you and your spouse separate, you are going to have to be independent, support yourself and find your own path. This often means getting an apartment of your own, separating your bank accounts and dealing with any other joint ventures that the two of you have pursued.
For example, if you and your spouse were alternating days to take the kids to school, you may have to juggle your work commitments to get them to school on those other days, or negotiate with your spouse to ensure that he or she still keeps up with those days. This will be an important part of ensuring consistency for the kids until you can sort out a visitation agreement.
The better prepared you are for the divorce, the easier the process is going to be. If you've reached the point where you feel as though the future of your marriage is in question, ask yourself these questions to find out if it's time to move on or you might need to take a bit more time to try to sort things out. In either case, you should also consult a divorce attorney to determine how best to proceed if you do opt to leave. You can find a divorce attorney by visiting a site like http://www.kamesquire-com.webs.com.